The Textbook Slayer!

Feb 14

Valentines Day Review: Poetry Terms

I lured my 30-2’s into reviewing their poetry terms using corny valentines and chocolate. They had to figure out whether they were dealing with a simile, metaphor, hyperbole, personification, juxtaposition, or alliteration before they could eat their chocolate. They were quite flattered until they realized I don’t write in iambic pentameter and that it was Shakespeare hitting on them.

Jan 26

[video]

Jan 23

Conversations with my Vice Principal…

Conversations with my Vice Principal…

Jan 22

[video]

Jan 19

Birthday on the slopes with my besty. #oldballs #midlifecrisis (at Lake Louise Ski Area & Mountain Resort)

Birthday on the slopes with my besty. #oldballs #midlifecrisis (at Lake Louise Ski Area & Mountain Resort)

Jan 16

Orange Cat Secretary assists me with grading. #workflow

Orange Cat Secretary assists me with grading. #workflow

Jan 11

My must read list for 2013. Everything else will be a bonus.

My must read list for 2013. Everything else will be a bonus.

Jan 09

School makes students feel…

I remember feeling anxious about going back to school after every break. The extent of my anxiety ranged from sleeplessness to puking from nerves. The longer I was free, the more it hurt to return.

I couldn’t explain why I was so unhappy or why I felt like I didn’t fit in. I was on the varsity basketball team. I had honours in school. I was student council president, damn it!

Now, back to that tricky word: free. Free to be myself. Free to pursue my own interests. Free to spend time with peers I choose. School is not an institution of freedom. Education is a priceless opportunity for students, but it isn’t comfortable. There’s no way to tailor this shoe to fit anyone perfectly- we dealing with GROWING feet!

I borrowed this image from a student. She posted it Monday morning after Christmas break. Your students might have contributed to the top search results too.

When we know the shoe doesn’t fit, how do we make the journey bearable?

I found that student Monday morning and told her “That’s EXACTLY how I felt this morning! Anxious!” The least I can offer is validation and a testimony that life gets better after high school.

Jan 08

[video]

Dec 30

Zip-Together Snowsuits

Pros:
-keep snow out of my butt crack
-look snazzy

Cons:
-farting

Dec 29

[video]

Dec 27

To hell with this! I’m parking here. #starbucks #parkingwars #coffeeordeath (at God Forsaken Starbucks Parking Lot)

To hell with this! I’m parking here. #starbucks #parkingwars #coffeeordeath (at God Forsaken Starbucks Parking Lot)

Dec 21

Making thirty-three bags of popcorn for the brats tomorrow. Everything is greasy, popcorn is everywhere. My cousin Kristen wants to kill me.

Making thirty-three bags of popcorn for the brats tomorrow. Everything is greasy, popcorn is everywhere. My cousin Kristen wants to kill me.

Dec 20

At least I have the Grade 10 Girls?

Twin 1: Ms. Anderson have you ever been in a long-term committed relationship?

Me: … Yes.

Twin 2: Ooh! How did that affect you?

Me: Well, OBVIOUSLY it ruined my life. Just look at me!

Twin 1: How long ago was that? Last year? (I nod). Oooh, that must be raw!

Twin 2: That sucks! How long did you date her for?

Me (growing irritation): Two. Years.

Twin 2: You know, I read somewhere on the internet that for every year that you date someone it takes 3 years to get over them…

Me: WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION?!

Twin 1: (Pats my back awkwardly). Ms. Anderson, you are a beautiful, intelligent, independent woman. You don’t need another woman to complete YOU.

Twin 2: Besides. You have us!

Me: Yes. Seventy children, no girlfriend… WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION?!

Dec 13

Tis the Season (to mark until my eyes bleed).

Tis the Season (to mark until my eyes bleed).